Eliminating Negative Thoughts and Behaviors

Davida ShenskyBy Featured Speaker Davida Shensky

Editorial Note: Negative thoughts and behaviors can greatly affect the effectiveness of your public speaking. That’s why I chose to run this particular story today. You need to believe in yourself, your topic and your abilities in order to be a good speaker.

There are self help books out there that can teach you how to take control of your life but unless you begin to want to make the change yourself, and you are ready and willing make the changes, then these books will only sit on the shelf and they will not help you. For many of us some of the reasons that we stop ourselves from succeeding is that someone has told us so many times that we are a failure and we have one to believe this repeating these conversations in our heads subconsciously while we are asleep.

These negative statements or trash prevent someone from succeeding in one’s personal life. Once we recognize that we are doing this to ourselves, then and only then, then we consciously make the changes one needs to make in order to succeed. The first step is to give yourself permission to succeed while at the same time recognizing that the you who are telling you this hour only read heeding the things they are telling themselves and their fear that you are better than they are. When they sabotage your success, then this gives them power over you.

The best thing you can do to overcome these negative thoughts is to make an internal shift in your thinking so you can overcome these negative thoughts. To do this you first have to give yourself permission to succeed. The theory of Transactional Analysis was established by Eric Berne. There was a book written by Claude Steiner called Scripts People Live. What is really happening is that your parents are trying to re-live their lives through you instead of being away your day you need to live the life that you were meant to live and they need to be supportive of your goals in life.

In the book Scripts People Live there is a story called “The Fuzzy Tale.” In this tale there is a family that gives out warm fuzzies as though they will never run out. A witch comes along who is jealous of this family and goes to them and tells them if they keep giving out the warm fuzzies eventually they will run out. The family stops giving out the warm fuzzies, therefore the town slowly begins to shrivel. The witch tells the family to give out false fuzzies or cold pricklies. He eventually a hip woman comes along and goes to the family and tells them the warm fuzzies will never run out, therefore the family starts to give out warm fuzzies again and the town begins to grow and thrive. The moral of this story is that by taking control of your life and believing in yourself there is no reason why you shouldn’t succeed at anything you choose to do. It only means that you’ll have to learn how to take control of your life and love yourself for who you are instead of letting others control you.


Ms. Shensky is a professional speaker, trainer, and author of many ebooks and articles. Her specialty is helping clients reach their maximum potential in life and create their own success in life. She has written the book No One Stands in Line to Become Disabled.

She holds an AAS in Mental Health and BA in Psychology and attended a Masters program in Rehabilitation Counseling. She attended Toastmasters where she received both the CTM and ATM certifications and participated in the NSA-GA Chapter mentoring program. She attended the American Seminar Leaders Association University where she received the Certified Seminar Leader (CSL) certification.

Ms. Shensky’s company is Career Performance Institute through which she presents teleseminars, webinars, boot camps, advocacy, career, technology organizational, and life coaching. plus written the book No One Stands in Line to Become Disabled.

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